Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Finding the peace within my heart

Just when everything seems to be going your way, you come to a point where you realize you are living for yourself, and making your own decisions... I am at that point right now, as much as I want to pay for my medicine today and start it, I am going to practice patience. The peace I once felt about ovulation induction, I no longer have. I feel that this is God's way of telling me it's not the right time. So I am going to continue to pray, and pray about this, and when it's time, then I will make that decision. As a wife, I want to focus all my attention on making the wonderful marriage I already have, even better. I want to know that when I bring a child into this world, they know beyond a Shadow of a doubt, their mommy and daddy are madly and truly in love, and couldn't wait to have them. I think maybe in January after the new year, we will try then. I am placing my impatience, my worries, my hopes, and most of all the hardest thing to place, my wants in God. It's hard when you want something right now, and you have the money, to not do it, but I feel in my heart that if I listen to what God is trying to tell me, and do things his way, I will get what I want sooner, rather than doing it my way and it taking forever... So for now,, no babies for Mr. and Mrs. Bell, only undivided attention to work on our hearts, and remind our self each and every day, why we fell in love.. Gosh I love that boy,, and sometimes we get distracted and get comfortable in our relationships, but I know in my heart that he is what I need ultimately, and I am so thankful to have so a wonderful kind hearted loving man. What a lucky girl I am... I know it's easy in life to focus on the negative but we need to learn to praise God and rejoice in all them positives he gives us... I am 22, I have a good job, a great husband, a brother who is my BEST FRIEND, and a mom and dad that I love with everything I have... It's been a rocky 22 years, but I can say without any hesitation, that I have enjoyed every single minute of it... Can you say that??

With Love-


1 comment:

Amanda Faye said...

All I can say is God WILL honor that desicion. I just heard it the other day I think it is my new faviorite verse... BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD Anyways I love your blog its adorable and everything I have already thought LOL XOXO